The Ultimate JQ Excuse Form

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The Ultimate JQ Excuse Form
by Wendy Carley

Dear ___

a) Friend
b) Family Member
c) Evil Villain trying to take over and/or destroy the world

Please forgive me for ___

a) daydreaming
b) crashing the car, again
c) ruining your life

But I was ___

a) watching
b) reading about
c) mindlessly obsessing over


a) Jonny Quest: The Real Adventures
b) The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest
c) What do they mean "Real Adventures"? Has anything even remotely like this ever really happened to anyone??

I know you keep telling me that I should ___

a) watch less cartoons
b) stop thinking every crystal I see can receive messages from aliens
c) NOT get plastic surgery to help me look more like Race Bannon

But I just can't help ___

a) thinking about my favorite cartoon show
b) making sure I have taped every episode
c) constantly chanting, "sim-sim-salabim!"

I don't think I'm obsessed with JQ just because I ___

a) named my dog Bandit
b) keep trying to convert an old piece of cardboard into a hover board.
c) tackled that waiter last night (I swear he looked just like Dr. Zin!)

And whenever I watch the show I start screaming at ___

a) Surd
b) Rage
c) the writers

I know that when I turn on my computer I ___

a) immediately check out the JQ websites
b) look for messages from the JQ MLs
c) Scream, "Goin' Hot!!!"

Still, I have yet to ___

a) add a giant "JQ" to every piece of clothing and accessory I own
b) start a petition to rename "Air Force One" "The Dragonfly"
c) wonder why Dr. Quest hasn't won The Nobel Prize

And I really think the fact that I am certain Jessie and Jonny will someday fall in love shows that ___

a) I'm a hopeless romantic
b) I believe in the power of true love
c) I've watched "Ghost Quest" too many times

I guess all that's left to say is ___

a) fur on a catfish
b) no heroics
c) this is too strange for school


a) Yours
b) Your Friend
c) Your Slammin' Friend


a) A Questor
b) A Questoid
c) If you don't mind, I'd like to remain anonymous. I think the secret agents are still trying to find me.

From: Features