Fan Groups - HR, HOSS, WAR, and Others

This page preserves some of the ancient and time-honored Real Adventure mailing list groups. The homes of many have since disappeared from the internet. You can find a list of them here.

HOSS - Honky Orientation & Southernism Society

HOSS Original Page (the official seal has been lost)

H.O.S.S.

Honky Oration & Southernism Society.
Dedicated to Season One Race and his Wacky Unpredictable Dialogue.

Admit it. You love hearing him say "Fur on a catfish!" Its nothing to be ashamed of! In fact, that's what we here at HOSS are all about! We beleive, goofy as he may sometimes sound, Race has some of the best, and even cleverest, lines in JQ:TRA.

Bask in the glory of the official Seal of H.O.S.S.

Getting Into H.O.S.S

Hey, you did ask.

H.O.S.S. isn't exactly an organized organization. In fact, it kinda came around because I felt like nobody loved our poor, cadenced, First Season Race, because they thought he sounded stupid (It seems like every single time someone wants to trash first season they start off with "Just look what they did to Race!").

So I founded H.O.S.S., not really thinking that many people would notice or sympathize. Well, I was wrong. We're well past a dozen strong and I've actually gotten letters asking how to get in. There really isn't a WAY into H.O.S.S. It's just a question of being sympathetic to the cause. All you have to do is love season one Race and the way he talks, and whether you know it or not, you're in H.O.S.S.

Words of Wisdom

Fur on a catfish!

We were blacked out longer than it takes a two-legged dog to go fetch.

At least we still have our good looks.

That girl's colder than a catfish on marble.

If you believe that, I've got a tin plated mudcat with a gold vest pocket.

It's like trying to herd cats in a lightning storm.

It's a buck to a pinch of stardust.

Time for some good ol' country fried rock.

It's colder than the north end of a south bound moose out there.

I'll be as safe as a cow in a Calcutta stockyard!

Shoot fire!

That kid could jump in a lake and come out dry!

If you believe that, I got a bridge for sale in Brooklyn.

I don't trust Walker further than I can spit against a willow walk.

It's emptier than a skid row trashcan.

You're a couple of shells short of a full clip.

You spilt the grease out of the fish fry.

I need it slicker than a seal on an oil spill!

Who dropped the Santa Fe Railroad on my head?

I'm shakin boss, you see me shakin?

It's a buck to a bent dime.

We'll need to pull the fat out of the fire.

You'll be throwing a lamb chop past a hungry wolf.

He's as slippery as a greased goose.

Sometimes you eat the bear. Sometimes the bear eats you.

This place is emptier than a turkey farm on Thanksgiving!

I feel like I was run down by the Santa Fe Railroad.

Wrestling's not my sport, sport.

Whoever handled this must be tougher than a bald owl.

Time to kick it!

Hopeless Romantics Auxiliary

The HR is still alive and kicking. Find it here. Just for kicks, here's the essential HR Justification Form by Wendy Carley.

Dear ___

a) acquaintance
b) friend
c) non-HR heathen


I know you've been asking why ___

a) I'm a hopeless romantic
b) I am obsessed with the love lives of cartoon characters
c) I refuse to get a life


So, I think it's time to explain ___

a) my HR beliefs
b) how I know Jonny and Jessie are meant for each other.
c) why I'm certain that Jessie and Jonny will fall in love, get married in a
   beautiful outdoor ceremony, have a brief but romantic honeymoon in the
   Caribbean, both pursue challenging and rewarding careers, have two
   adorable children (yes, I've picked out their names), live a life filled 
   with happiness and love and . . .


There are many things that make me feel Jessie and Jonny are destined to
be together.  For example ___

a) the kiss in "Ghost Quest"
b) the "She's pretty cool line" from "Expedition to Khumbu"
c) "Jessie" starts with "J".  "Jonny" starts with "J".  "Justification Form" 
   starts with "J".  This can't just be a coincidence!!


And I can't overlook ___

a) all the furtive glances Jonny and Jessie cast at each other
b) how often Jessie and Jonny run to rescue each other
c) the fact that I just know it's true.  Why do you need empirical evidence?
   Who do you think you are, Dr. Quest??  Just trust me on this one.


Not to mention the fact that the Hopeless Romantics Auxiliary ___

a) has tons of evidence of a Jonny/Jessie relationship
b) is convinced that Jonny and Jessie will fall in love
c) is growing in numbers everyday.  You can't run.  You can't hide.  We will
   convert you.  We will take over the world!!! . . . Um, sorry about that.  
   Ha, just a little joke.


Of course, I most easily make HR interpretations after I watch ___

a) "Ghost Quest"
b) any episode with Jessie and Jonny
c) even the episodes without Jessie.  Sometimes when she's not there, Jonny
   just looks lonely and sad.  I know he must be missing Jessie.


Okay, I may have ___

a) watched every episode a million times, trying to find any shred of HR
   evidence
b) read all the HR fanfic I can get my hands on
c) tattooed "J&J 4EVER" on numerous parts of my body


*I do not think I am TOTALLY obsessed with the notion of Jonny-loves-Jessie 
simply because ___

a) I bought the Jonny and Jessie figurine package and made wedding outfits 
   for them.
b) I have a habit of saying, when referring to her, "Jessie Quest...er, 
   Bannon...er, you know who I mean."
c) I gloat over the revelation that the Jessie Que---er, Bannon character 
   was created as a romantic interest for Jonny.
d) when someone says Jessie likes Hadji, I attack him or her, screaming, 
   "Die, heretic, die!"


I'm aware that some JQ fans feel there is nothing in the show to suggest a
romantic relationship between Jonny and Jessie.  To those people I have to
say ___

a) Remember the hug at the end of "Ice Will Burn"?
b) See the way Jonny clutches Jessie during "The Robot Spies".
c) What?  Are you crazy??  Have you ever really watched the show???


I have even heard that some people think that Jessie and Hadji might be
romantically linked.  My only response is ___

a) Neela could have meant anything by that "feel more than you realize"
   remark from "The Bangalore Falcon"
b) Jessie was just concerned about Hadji during "Eclipse".  She was not
   jealous
c) No.  Nooo!   NOOOOOOOOO!!!  I mean, I like Hadji.  I have nothing
   against him, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!


So, I hope that you will ___

a) understand why I'm a HR
b) join the ever-growing ranks of the HRA
c) remove that restraining order against me


___________

a) Love
b) Love and Kisses
c) Love and Kisses and the Eternal Bliss that comes from knowing Jonny and 
   Jessie are soul mates

Women Against Race

• WAR Original Page

From: Features